Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

I'm a late-night guy.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

Skinny jeans were only good if you had skinny genes.

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home.

The more you notice the love, the miracles and the beauty around you, the more love comes into your life.

In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state.

Whatever happens to your body, your soul will survive, untouched.

The downfall of the church will not come from a lack of apologetic teaching; it will come from disintegration of the families in the church.

We become truly personal by loving God and by loving other humans... In its deepest sense, love is the life, the energy, of the Creator in us.

Young people have a marvelous faculty of either dying or adapting themselves to circumstances.

To get closer to Truth and Right, we need a beautiful and soft heart.

I am always of the opinion with the learned, if they speak first.