Funny Book Quotes
I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.
A book is really like a lover. It arranges itself in your life in a way that is beautiful.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
A book may be compared to your neighbor: if it be good, it cannot last too long; if bad, you cannot get rid of it too early.
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.
I, alone, could never have produced this book. I say this mainly in case there are lawsuits.
If a man writes a book, let him set down only what he knows. I have guesses enough of my own.
I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.
This book is dedicated to Wilbur and Orville Wright, without whom air sickness would still be just a dream.
Gaylord Perry and Willie McCovey should know each other like a book. They've been ex-teammates for years now.
It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.
I'm very English really. I even ordered a book on the internet, 'how to have absolutely nothing to do with your neighbors'. Unfortunately I was out when it was delivered.
It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.
Usually the script is much more funny than the film turns out to be, in my case. The script is almost like a comic book but when you start making it, for some reason the film gets very serious.
I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words.
I'd say that about 82 percent of what I write is bad, but don't go by me; I'm as bad a judge as I am a writer. Look, if it were all good, you'd be paying twice as much for this book.
It reminds me how funny living in LA can be; You go to a friend's barbecue and you leave the face of Victoria Beckham's look book.
We had 1 book, the phone book, I've read it, it wasn't a great read, lots of characters, and on the end loads of polish people turn up.
What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct, and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow.
This must be a gift book. That is to say a book, which you wouldn't take on any other terms.
I'm not funny. People assume that because my books are funny, I'll be funny in real life. It's the inevitable disappointment of meeting me.
What's funny about Jesus' Son is that I never even wrote that book, I just wrote it down. I would tell these stories and people would say, You should write these things down.
I like books that are funny, but that aren't trying to be funny. I like situational humor.
It's funny - my wife is more jealous of my books than of other women because I'm always working and thinking about my books.
I started a funny book from the 1930s called The Code of the Woosters by P. G. Wodehouse. Wodehouse is a comic genius.
I wouldn't overall say that "The Diagnosis" is a funny book. I would say that it has comic moments. It's a modern tragedy.
What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747?-About 20 pounds.-Yo mama carries more passengers.-Not everyone's been on a 747.
What’s not to love? I made friends with a pretty girl and now we get to plan a castle break in. This beats the day to day kill, eat and survive.
Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.
Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.
Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
