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Dorothy Parker Quotes

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Dorothy Parker Quotes: "The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue."

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.




Dorothy Parker Quotes: "The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be."

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.




Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye."

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host."

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.




Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician."

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty."

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.




Dorothy Parker Quotes: "If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to."

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave."

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Brevity is the soul of lingerie."

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "You can't teach an old dogma new tricks."

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "I hate writing, I love having written."

I hate writing, I love having written.




Dorothy Parker Quotes: "If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me."

If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem."

I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme."

Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid."

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants."

Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words."

There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness."

Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "A hangover is the wrath of grapes."

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both."

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "I was the toast of two continents: Greenland and Australia."

I was the toast of two continents: Greenland and Australia.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away."

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "I can’t write five words but that I change seven."

I can’t write five words but that I change seven.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt."

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them."

If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, And love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania."

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, And love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them."

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "I'd like to have money. And I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that's too adorable, I'd rather have money."

I'd like to have money. And I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that's too adorable, I'd rather have money.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available."

Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika."

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "It is that word 'hunny,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up."

It is that word 'hunny,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate."

It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it."

I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this -- One of you is lying."

By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this -- One of you is lying.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation."

Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "I like to have a martini/Two at the very most."

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires."

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Don't look at me in that tone of voice."

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word."

Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do."

You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man."

The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart."

Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you."

Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.



Dorothy Parker Quotes: "Writing well is the best revenge."

Writing well is the best revenge.