Comedy Funny Quotes

Comedy Funny Quote of the day

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

It's funny how the littlest things can make you feel larger than life; the right lyric, the most heartfelt melody, the clearest message. Love.

Analysing comedy is like dissecting a frog. Nobody laughs and the frog dies.

Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.

This sausage roll only contains 2% of your daily intake of calories... if you lick it.

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.

It's funny that it all becomes about clothes. It's bizarre. You work your butt off and then you win an award and it's all about your dress. You can't get away from it.

Comedy should never be over-analysed. It's either funny or it isn't. There's a subtle difference between those who say funny things and those who say things funny.

The more I see of man, the more I like dogs.

Cats can be very funny, and have the oddest ways of showing they're glad to see you.

A princess always takes care that her words are honeyed, for she may have to eat them

You know it's funny, when it rains it pours they got money for wars, but can't feed the poor.

A good thing to have up your sleeve is a sanctified funny-bone.

The funny part is I feel like somebody is stalking me, like, at my local course and sizing up my game.

Accents are funny. It sets me apart from the other girls doing comedy. It gives me more—how do you say?—pop-oo-laaarrrity.

I like comedy but I guess I don't think [my art] is that funny, either. It's too dark and a bit weird in places to be genuinely, uniformly hilarious and function as comedy.

Wonder Showzen is one of my favorite shows of all time. When I first saw it, I thought it was so funny and new and original and edgy and insane and subversive. I didn't know comedy could do that.

It's funny how the hippies and the punks tried to get rid of the conservatives, but they always seem to get the upper hand in the end.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

I don't do comedy. I think if a situation is funny you just play it for real and if it's funny, it's funny.

When you do comedy in front of an audience, they are the ones who tell you whether it's funny or not and which bits are funny and which bits need to be fixed.

I'm no expert, Rock, but I don't think I have any poontang...to give you.

The behavior of any bureaucratic organization can best be understood by assuming that it is controlled by a secret cabal of its enemies.

When I was doing ensemble theater and comedy work, I felt I had some talents. But when I started doing my shows in Berkeley and found that I could be funny on my own, I was shocked.

I will do comedy until the day I die: inappropriate comedy, funny comedy, gender-bending, twisting comedy, whatever comedy is out there.

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

And the funny thing is, I've always been an optimist - it's practically a congenital disorder with me.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

David Boreanaz is pretty funny. He's probably the one that cracks everybody up the most on set. He can be very serious as well, but when he's silly he's pretty silly.

I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.

It's funny with fiction - once you cut something, it hasn't happened anymore.

The funny thing about sustainability is you gotta sustain it.

I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators.

Comedy is ridiculously hard. And if the rhythm is not right, if the music or the line is not right, it's not funny.

I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

I've never laughed a woman into bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

It’s funny. I don’t like onions but I like onion rings. What’s up with that?

It's funny how everyone hates witch hunts... until they see a witch.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

Anyone who is considered funny will tell you, sometimes without your even asking, that deep inside they are very serious, neurotic, introspective people.

I was once on a German talk show, and this woman said to me, 'Mr. Williams, why do you think there is not so much comedy in Germany?' And I said, 'Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?'

It's funny, I worked with a lot of directors in the many years that I've been doing this, and generally when you hear a director yelling on set, everybody scatters in the other direction.

I think, in comedy, timing is everything. You and I could tell the same joke, but if one of our timing is off, it won't be as funny. You've gotta know when to deliver your punch-lines.

Life is too short to dance with ugly men

If we were truly created by God, why do we occasionally bite the insides of our mouths?

I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.