Molly Ivins Quotes

I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag.

What we have here, fellow citizens, is a crassly egocentric, raving twit.

On the whole, I prefer not to be lectured on patriotism by those who keep offshore maildrops in order to avoid paying their taxes.

It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong.

It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.

Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel -- it's vulgar.

If you ever get to the place where injustice doesn't bother you, you're dead.

One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts.

I know: "Guns Don't Kill People." But I suspect that they have something to do with it. If you point your finger at someone and say, "Bang, bang, you're dead," not much actually happens.

How the American right managed to convince itself that the programs to alleviate poverty are responsible for the consequences of poverty will someday be studied as a notorious mass illusion.

Whenever you hear a politician carry on about what a mess the schools are, be aware that you are looking at the culprit.

In Texas, we do not hold high expectations for the [governor's] office; it's mostly been occupied by crooks, dorks and the comatose.

I still believe in Hope - mostly because there's no such place as Fingers Crossed, Arkansas.

I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults.

Nice is a pallid virtue. Not like honesty or courage or perseverance. On the other hand, in a nation notably lacking in civility, there is much to be said for nice.

Any nation that can survive what we have lately in the way of government, is on the high road to permanent glory.

Americans are not getting screwed by the Republican Party. They're getting screwed by the large corporations that bought and own the Republican Party.

Bad policies, stupid policies, gutless policies have real consequences.

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented.

We've had trickle down economics in the country for ten years now, and most of us aren't even damp yet.

You look at the large problems that we face - that would be overpopulation, water shortages, global warming and AIDS, I suppose - all of that needs international cooperation to be solved.

Freedom fighters don't always win, but they're always right.

I believe all Southern liberals come from the same starting point--race. Once you figure out they are lying to you about race, you start to question everything.

Most of us think of government as them. Yet government isn't Them: It's us.

There is no inverse relationship between freedom and security. Less of one does not lead to more of the other. People with no rights are not safe from terrorist attack.

Texas liberals are the camels of good news. We can cross entire deserts between oases.

Anyone who thinks humans are not capable of so fouling their own nest that the land and the waters can no longer be productive just hasn't been paying attention.

I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.

It's hard to argue against cynics - they always sound smarter than optimists because they have so much evidence on their side.

Conservatives are fond of pointing out there are problems in this world can't be solved by throwing money at them. There are even more that can't be solved by dropping bombs on them.

I believe that ignorance is the root of all evil. And that no one knows the truth.

The first rule of holes: When you're in one stop digging.

I don't so much mind that newspapers are dying - it's watching them commit suicide that pisses me off.

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day

Many a time freedom has been rolled back - and always for the same sorry reason: fear.

Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful.

Some days, I'd feel better with Punxsutawney Phil in the Oval Office - at least he doesn't lie about the weather.

Sit up, join up, get on line, get in touch, find out who's raising hell and join them. No use waiting on a bunch of wussy politicians.

The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion.

During a recent panel on the numerous failures of American journalism, I proposed that almost all stories about government should begin: “Look out! They're about to smack you around again!

I know vegetarians don't like to hear this, but God made an awful lot of land that's good for nothing but grazing.

And the funny thing is, I've always been an optimist - it's practically a congenital disorder with me.

You can't ignore politics, no matter how much you'd like to.

Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce.

What you need is sustained outrage...there's far too much unthinking respect given to authority.

Calling George Bush shallow is like calling a dwarf short.

Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.

When Michael Jackson, a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich, white woman, married Elvis Presley's daughter the Scientologist. Makes you proud to be an American, dudn't it?

It's hard to convince people that you're killing them for their own good.