Bill Murray Quotes

People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.

Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.

Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood.

I'm a nut, but not just a nut.

Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you've met and you're like, 'Yep, I like this one,' and you just do stuff with them.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

You know how funerals are not for the dead, they’re for the living? Bachelor parties are not for the groom, they’re for the uncommitted.

You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.

Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.

The secret is to have a sense of yourself, your real self, your unique self. And not just once in a while, or once a day, but all through the day, the week and life.

Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.

Life is a game, and it's much more fun if you play it as your own game, so stay light and loose and relaxed.

Be available for life to happen.

I go home and stay there. I wash and scrub up each day, and that's it. One month I actually grew a moustache, just so I could say that I'd done something.

Grab this day by the neck and kiss it.

Don't think about your errors or failures; otherwise, you'll never do a thing.

You work, you get paid, you drink.

You can handle just about anything that comes at you out on the road with a believable grin, common sense and whiskey.

Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!

My favorite thing about New York is the people, because I think they’re misunderstood. I don’t think people realize how kind New York people are.

'Groundhog Day' was one of the greatest scripts ever written. It didn't even get nominated for an Academy Award.

All of us kids ended up 'doing Mom.' There are four of us who've tried show business. Five if you insist on counting my sister the nun, who does liturgical dance.

There are people who drove me crazy, but they got the job done. And when I see that person again, I nod my head. Respect.

You're supposed to have one hand up and one hand down. As you're trying to going up, you're trying to pull someone up at the same time.

There aren't many downsides to being rich, other than paying taxes and having relatives asking for money. But being famous, that's a 24 hour job right there.

You know...they say an elephant never forgets. What they don't tell you is, you never forget an elephant.

Awards are meaningless to me, and I have nothing but disdain for anyone who actively campaigns to get one.

Melancholy is kind of sweet sometimes, I think. It's not a negative thing. It's not a mean thing. It's just something that happens in life, like autumn.

No one really wants to admit they are lonely, and it is never really addressed very much between friends and family. But I have felt lonely many times in my life.

And I don't like to work. I only like working when I'm working.

People usually go through a bad period when they first get successful. You're new and you're hot and things go wrong.

Sometimes I snore, like when I get really tired.

Morocco is the greatest. I should be getting money from the Moroccans because I'm just telling everyone that it's a wonderful place to go.

The automatic things you do are basically those things that keep you from doing the better things you need to do.

Disneyland. The world's biggest people trap, built by a mouse.

This is not a dress rehearsal; this is your life.

I have a brother who gives socks for Christmas. He gives socks. Every year, I get a pair of socks from him.

The only way we’ll ever know what it’s like to be you is if you work your best at being you as often as you can, and keep reminding yourself: That’s where home is.

If Google doesn't know the answer, then it's not a question

The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything.

I think midlife crisis is just a point where people's careers have reached some plateau and they have to reflect on their personal relationships.

People only talk about what a joyous experience it is, but there is terror: Your life, as you know it, is over. It's over the day that child is born. It's over, and something completely new starts.

Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it's usually something unusual.

I think if you can take care of yourself, and then maybe try to take care of someone else, that's sort of how you're supposed to live.

Love can be seeing that here we are and there's this world here.

Movie acting suits me because I only need to be good for ninety seconds at a time.

Everyone needs to take a vacation from the sort of automatic things you do.

I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday.

You’ll never be good if you don’t know that you are.

Here's the thing, you just have to drive a lot faster, and if you don't get there, we're both fired.