You still have Top 40 radio now, but it's 40 different stations. There aren't many hits that everybody knows, and there aren't many real superstars.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

When you fall down, rise up. When you fall again, rise up again. This is just a developmental process that makes a healthy baby become a successful man.

Victory does not always come with trumpet-blasts and glory.

A true masterpiece does not tell everything.

Sometimes being away, on location, I feel like I'm away for much of my own life. I want to be better at staying connected.

The camera’s not a camera, really. It’s an open door we need to walk through. It’s up to us to keep moving our feet.

The more you have, the more people want to use you and damage you.

Trust your instincts, trust your judgment.

I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.

I couldn't stop staring at the cave, back where Dimitri was, back where half of my soul was.

I'm the LCL - the Last Center Left. I've been doing the same things for 13 years, but now they're flopping and falling, and the refs are falling for it, too.