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Mitch Hedberg Quotes: You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.
         

You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.


Mitch Hedberg
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"Mitch Hedberg Quotes." Quoteslyfe.com, 2024. Fri. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.quoteslyfe.com/quote/You-should-never-tell-someone-they-have-901941>.





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Other quotes of Mitch Hedberg


I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."



A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.



I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.



I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.

I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.



My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.



My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.



Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.



Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.



Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.



I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.





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When life seems not worth living, ten minutes in a library proves otherwise.

When life seems not worth living, ten minutes in a library proves otherwise.



Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie-I found that out.

Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie-I found that out.



I chose America as my home because I value freedom and democracy, civil liberties and an open society.

I chose America as my home because I value freedom and democracy, civil liberties and an open society.



We've had every official in Hawaii, Democrat and Republican, every news outlet that has investigated this, confirm that, yes, in fact, I was born in Hawaii, Aug. 4, 1961, in Kapiolani Hospital.

We've had every official in Hawaii, Democrat and Republican, every news outlet that has investigated this, confirm that, yes, in fact, I was born in Hawaii, Aug. 4, 1961, in Kapiolani Hospital.



I get whiskey bent and hell bound.

I get whiskey bent and hell bound.



Adam Sandler is a really funny guy in real life. Separate from all of the movies, that is a funny man.

Adam Sandler is a really funny guy in real life. Separate from all of the movies, that is a funny man.



The only time I feel at ease is swinging up and down in a coconut tree.

The only time I feel at ease is swinging up and down in a coconut tree.



Shut up, sod off, and let me in. (Fury)

Shut up, sod off, and let me in. (Fury)



I'd love a day devoid of responsibilities. I've often thought about going to a hotel just to have a day away from everything.

I'd love a day devoid of responsibilities. I've often thought about going to a hotel just to have a day away from everything.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.". Author of this quote is Mitch Hedberg. This quote is about nice, gun, funny, humor,.