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Mitch Hedberg Quotes: I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.
         

I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.


Mitch Hedberg
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"Mitch Hedberg Quotes." Quoteslyfe.com, 2024. Sat. 24 Feb. 2024. <https://www.quoteslyfe.com/quote/I-wanted-to-get-a-tape-recorder-902114>.





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Other quotes of Mitch Hedberg


I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."



A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.



I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.



My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.



My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.



Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.



Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.



Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.



I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.



I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.





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And of course I didn't know who would marry me now that I'd been where I had been. I didn't know at all.

And of course I didn't know who would marry me now that I'd been where I had been. I didn't know at all.



If the man who turnips cries Cry not when his father dies 'Tis proof that he had rather Have a turnip than his father.

If the man who turnips cries Cry not when his father dies 'Tis proof that he had rather Have a turnip than his father.



The papers are portraying Rafa as a parrot, just like they did when they showed Graham Taylor as an onion

The papers are portraying Rafa as a parrot, just like they did when they showed Graham Taylor as an onion



An honest man is in Hell when he is in debt.

An honest man is in Hell when he is in debt.



I view cats as more like wild animals. We feed it, but a lot of times it's not eating the food because it's murdering other animals outside and eating their meat.

I view cats as more like wild animals. We feed it, but a lot of times it's not eating the food because it's murdering other animals outside and eating their meat.



Moving forward is not based upon your past; your future is exclusively determined by the decisions you make now, in this moment.

Moving forward is not based upon your past; your future is exclusively determined by the decisions you make now, in this moment.



I recognize no empire of this present age.

I recognize no empire of this present age.



Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper. "Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole." "What?" Piper asked. "Nothing," he said. "Inside joke.

Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper. "Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole." "What?" Piper asked. "Nothing," he said. "Inside joke.



If there is such a person on the planet, then he or she-this self-appointed arbiter of “appropriateness”-deserves to be confronted with as many “inappropriate” transgressions as possible.

If there is such a person on the planet, then he or she-this self-appointed arbiter of “appropriateness”-deserves to be confronted with as many “inappropriate” transgressions as possible.



A man is more than the sum of all the things he can do.

A man is more than the sum of all the things he can do.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.". Author of this quote is Mitch Hedberg. This quote is about thinking, funny, backwards, humor, wanted, tape,.