You'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Having gained experience, you can help others and discover your destination and unique gift

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father.

I've never worried about being rich or famous - for me, it's all about the dancing.

It was clear to me that I was never going to be the same kind of player I had been. It was time to quit.

A man may go to heaven without health, without riches, without honors, without learning, without friends; but he can never go there without Christ.

Government is so big today that more than half the population gets a major part of its income from the state.

As when my little son John offendeth: if then I should not whip him, but call him to the table unto me, and give him sugar and plums, thereby, I should make him worse, yea should quite spoil him.

If we had helped a hundred children it would have all been worthwhile.

I definitely go on gut instinct but it has always had the back up of research and information.

Let him who desires to be harsh in making demands upon his debtors consider that he is God’s debtor.