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Christopher Titus Quotes: There's two approved methods for getting a pedicure for a guy. Number one, you use your own grinder or... You have an eighteen year-old Vietnamese girl rub your feet and call you Joe and that's it!
         

There's two approved methods for getting a pedicure for a guy. Number one, you use your own grinder or... You have an eighteen year-old Vietnamese girl rub your feet and call you Joe and that's it!


Christopher Titus
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Other quotes of Christopher Titus


Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.



Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.



I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.



Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.



The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.



I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.



Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.



I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.



Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.



The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?





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Guys, close your eyes.Imagine you have a daughter. Imagine she is dating a guy like you. Did you smile? No?Then change.

Guys, close your eyes.Imagine you have a daughter. Imagine she is dating a guy like you. Did you smile? No?Then change.



Nobody adopts antisocial behaviour unless they fear that they will fail if they remain on the social side of life.

Nobody adopts antisocial behaviour unless they fear that they will fail if they remain on the social side of life.



She [Evelina] is not, indeed, like most modern young ladies; to be known in half an hour; her modest worth, and fearful excellence, require both time and encouragement to show themselves.

She [Evelina] is not, indeed, like most modern young ladies; to be known in half an hour; her modest worth, and fearful excellence, require both time and encouragement to show themselves.



The stars in the sky are really other suns like our own, around which orbit other planets. (paraphrase)

The stars in the sky are really other suns like our own, around which orbit other planets. (paraphrase)



Your mind, emotions and body are instruments and the way you align and tune them determines how well you play life.

Your mind, emotions and body are instruments and the way you align and tune them determines how well you play life.



When you're focused at the task at hand and you believe in the man who is running for president and the man who is running for vice president, we just want it to be objective and fair.

When you're focused at the task at hand and you believe in the man who is running for president and the man who is running for vice president, we just want it to be objective and fair.



I enjoyed growing up part of my life in Virginia Beach. We had the ocean and the beach and a beautiful landscape.

I enjoyed growing up part of my life in Virginia Beach. We had the ocean and the beach and a beautiful landscape.



Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21.

Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21.



I remember the horror story that I told myself over and over again. I'm totally alone in my body. I'm totally alone in my head and nobody will ever see through my eyes. I'm just completely alone.

I remember the horror story that I told myself over and over again. I'm totally alone in my body. I'm totally alone in my head and nobody will ever see through my eyes. I'm just completely alone.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "There's two approved methods for getting a pedicure for a guy. Number one, you use your own grinder or... You have an eighteen year-old Vietnamese girl rub your feet and call you Joe and that's it!". Author of this quote is Christopher Titus. This quote is about feet, two, use, vietnamese, eighteen, guy, girl, approved, grinder,.