Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

Abortion is an atrocity. Those who practice or praise it are either damn idiots, misguided fools, or treacherous devils.

To leave, after all, was not the same as being left.

Knowing your strengths is intelligence

Sadness is the ambrosia of all art.

Self-confidence. Let's fight the demon that makes you look smaller than you truly are.

Maybe we are less than our dreams, but that less would make us more than some gods would dream of.

(Howard) Dean is a raving nut bag...a raving, sinister, demagogic nutbag...I and a few other people saw that he should be destroyed.

It had been an enormous, extraordinary, outrageous adventure. And it was deadly.

If we can't get more John Rovnaks in this world, let's all support the John Rovnak we've got.

I was devastated by the loss of my job in March, although I can understand why it occurred.

I think I have changed a lot. People might feel a little unfamiliar with the new me, but this is just who I am. I realised that I just want to be free.