Therapists need to give a depressed patient support and direction.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

Just tell him to keep his hands to himself and his python in his pants.

Your perception will determine your reception

Going to the opera like getting drunk is a sin that carries its own punishment with it and that a very severe one.

It's embarrassing when you try to overthrow the government and you wind up on the Best Seller's List.

As long as there is one heart on Earth where I still live, my memory will not die.

I used to want to be fully observational, but I'm just not that kind of writer. My process always changes depending on how, when, and where inspiration stiles me.

I landed in this country with $2.50 in cash and $1 million in hopes, and those hopes never left me.

Friendships aren't perfect and yet they are very precious. For me, not expecting perfection all in one place was a great release.

I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.

Many people would say that A Tibetan monk, even in Lhasa, may be free while the ruler of China may not be free.