I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

Just think of all the billions of coincidences that don't happen.

The optimist's hope and the pessimist's despair: reciprocal illusions.

Words can create, words give life, words can build, words can destroy. Words can bring something out of nothing. What are you saying?

Dream extravagantly, for God has imbued us with ample imagination to dream out to and across the very periphery of the impossible.

The recent evidence increasingly suggests that an economic expansion is already well under way, although an array of influences unique to this business cycle seems likely to moderate its speed.

You take for granted the details that make something look real. It can still look fabulous, but if you add a light switch, a vent, or the notion of air conditioning, it can look real.

Without reflection, we go blindly on our way.

I played at Georgia, I coached at Alabama. I know how to beat both of them.

Every Christian is a missionary to the extent that he or she bears witness to God’s love. Be missionaries of God’s tenderness!

Some people say that in stressful situations I can seem unflappable, and I think that's partly because I'm always kind of internally flapped.

My mom's been married three times; my dad has been married a lot. I didn't really see my dad that much.