Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?

I couldn't get any jobs, and when that happens, you get so humble it's disgusting. I didn't feel like a man anymore -- I felt really creepy. I was bumping into walls and saying, Excuse me.

I'm just some lunatic macaroni mushroom, is that it?

You know why you hate me so much, Jeffery? Because I look the way you feel.

You try too hard. Winners forget they're in a race. They just love to run.

You win, you win. You lose, you still win.

Did Mad freakin' Max just call me irritating?

A winner forgets he's in a race, he just loves to run.

I dyed my hair blonde in that movie, so my head doesn't match my grill.

Ah, I don't do interviews, really.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

I am going to read... but from where to start - is the biggest question in the world.

Everyone— black as well as white— thinks it's going to be better over the next jump of land.

If anything happens to me tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way they'll have to reevaluate me.

The essence of government is control, or the attempt to control.

It doesn't matter what business you're in. It is the people who achieve things, not capital, and the great advantage for us is that I think women have always known this.

I laugh and joke, but I don't get distracted very easily.

We are a society that values a man for what he does in the world, a woman for how she looks.

Well that's the nicest thing a beer induced hallucination has ever said to me.

Smoking cures weight problems, eventually.