You win, you win. You lose, you still win.

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?

Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.

I couldn't get any jobs, and when that happens, you get so humble it's disgusting. I didn't feel like a man anymore -- I felt really creepy. I was bumping into walls and saying, Excuse me.

I'm just some lunatic macaroni mushroom, is that it?

You know why you hate me so much, Jeffery? Because I look the way you feel.

You try too hard. Winners forget they're in a race. They just love to run.

Did Mad freakin' Max just call me irritating?

A winner forgets he's in a race, he just loves to run.

I dyed my hair blonde in that movie, so my head doesn't match my grill.

Ah, I don't do interviews, really.

Book burnings. Always the forerunners. Heralds of the stake, the ovens, the mass graves.

You mean less to me than the dog s__t I scraped off the bottom of my shoe!

I should have more vanity.

When something bad happens to me, I think I'm able to deal with it in a pretty good way. That makes me lucky. Some people fall apart at the first little thing that happens.

It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.

As for accomplishments, I just did what I had to do as things came along.

As for Instagram, I follow about 100 people, but I am not interested in what a designer is doing or what a friend of a friend is doing. I upload my photos on Instagram.

Tantric Zen, at first, does not appear to have a method. In Tantric Zen, you could meditate on a Brillo box or you could meditate on the clear light of reality.

Maids want nothing but husbands, and when they have them, they want everything.