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Albert Brooks Quotes

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Albert Brooks Quotes: "A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!"

A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!




Albert Brooks Quotes: "I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat."

I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat.




Albert Brooks Quotes: "Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?"

Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?



Albert Brooks Quotes: "If you want to be a writer, just write. There's no magic to it."

If you want to be a writer, just write. There's no magic to it.




Albert Brooks Quotes: "Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble."

Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender."

Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "I can't not put humor in a book."

I can't not put humor in a book.




Albert Brooks Quotes: "I've never been disappointed, because I've never given somebody I liked that much power."

I've never been disappointed, because I've never given somebody I liked that much power.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Relaxation is the absence of worry."

Relaxation is the absence of worry.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up."

When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "If we had 3 million exhibitionists and only one voyeur, nobody could make any money."

If we had 3 million exhibitionists and only one voyeur, nobody could make any money.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "So I think if you're happy with your brain, you're powerful."

So I think if you're happy with your brain, you're powerful.




Albert Brooks Quotes: "I don't know that I can define fear. But one of the sources of fear is holding up some sort of model life that doesn't exist and feeling like you're far away from it."

I don't know that I can define fear. But one of the sources of fear is holding up some sort of model life that doesn't exist and feeling like you're far away from it.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "If anything happens to me, tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they'll have to reevaluate me."

If anything happens to me, tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they'll have to reevaluate me.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "I'd still like to see 'Survivor' minus the planned show-biz parts. That would be the purest form of show business - I want to see someone so hungry that they eat somebody else's foot."

I'd still like to see 'Survivor' minus the planned show-biz parts. That would be the purest form of show business - I want to see someone so hungry that they eat somebody else's foot.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "I never wanted to be a director."

I never wanted to be a director.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Someone asked me "what do you think of Donald Trump?" And I said, "I would rather vote for Hillary Clinton in jail." If she gets convicted, I'll vote for her for president."

Someone asked me "what do you think of Donald Trump?" And I said, "I would rather vote for Hillary Clinton in jail." If she gets convicted, I'll vote for her for president.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "I'm not Elvis. I don't get chased by paparazzi."

I'm not Elvis. I don't get chased by paparazzi.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "I don't want to get close to people who have secrets that I don't know about."

I don't want to get close to people who have secrets that I don't know about.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Don't worry, and don't kick yourself forever. Just take the opportunities when they come."

Don't worry, and don't kick yourself forever. Just take the opportunities when they come.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Be generous and you can be the best person who ever lived."

Be generous and you can be the best person who ever lived.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "I've been to many funerals of funny people, and they're some of the funniest days you'll ever have, because the emotions run high."

I've been to many funerals of funny people, and they're some of the funniest days you'll ever have, because the emotions run high.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "I've always felt like I work in a small little area that doesn't represent anything like the rest of society."

I've always felt like I work in a small little area that doesn't represent anything like the rest of society.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Most entertainment is trying to get you. It's tested, like toothpaste."

Most entertainment is trying to get you. It's tested, like toothpaste.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "I think anger and laughter are very close to each other, when you think about it."

I think anger and laughter are very close to each other, when you think about it.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn't cool to say, at a young age, 'I want to be a comedian.'"

Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn't cool to say, at a young age, 'I want to be a comedian.'



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch."

Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Art and resistance are great together. That's what art's made for. Look at Vincent van Gogh: He didn't cut off his ear because he was selling well."

Art and resistance are great together. That's what art's made for. Look at Vincent van Gogh: He didn't cut off his ear because he was selling well.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "I just like making people laugh, and buried in that I like to bring up topics and start discussions."

I just like making people laugh, and buried in that I like to bring up topics and start discussions.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "My mother was supportive without knowing it. Deep down she wanted all the right things, she just didn't see the world like I did, and she's not supposed to."

My mother was supportive without knowing it. Deep down she wanted all the right things, she just didn't see the world like I did, and she's not supposed to.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "The biggest waste of brainpower is to want to change something that's not changeable."

The biggest waste of brainpower is to want to change something that's not changeable.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "In the beginning of any career, in every job, people are always forcing you to the middle."

In the beginning of any career, in every job, people are always forcing you to the middle.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "I don't experience basic human emotions. It's not my thing."

I don't experience basic human emotions. It's not my thing.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "You never do a movie and not want it to work. You accept whatever it is. You have to, but nobody in their right mind would not want the movie to be getting talked about at the end of the year."

You never do a movie and not want it to work. You accept whatever it is. You have to, but nobody in their right mind would not want the movie to be getting talked about at the end of the year.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "One of the things I like about a character: I always think it's fascinating when a character can turn on a dime and go from one emotion to another. I like watching that."

One of the things I like about a character: I always think it's fascinating when a character can turn on a dime and go from one emotion to another. I like watching that.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "It's interesting when you're part of a group - the Jews, to be exact - that the world has had such problems with."

It's interesting when you're part of a group - the Jews, to be exact - that the world has had such problems with.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Once you sign on as an actor, you know, you don't go to the editing room, you don't see how they cut, you don't see how they score, you don't see how they cast the rest of the movie."

Once you sign on as an actor, you know, you don't go to the editing room, you don't see how they cut, you don't see how they score, you don't see how they cast the rest of the movie.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "There's nothing funny about flying to Houston."

There's nothing funny about flying to Houston.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Regrets are stupid; they don't mean anything and they don't add up to anything."

Regrets are stupid; they don't mean anything and they don't add up to anything.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "I have children. I have a family to support. But I really could live in a one-room apartment, as long as the television worked. I never needed anything. Just a comfortable chair and I'm fine."

I have children. I have a family to support. But I really could live in a one-room apartment, as long as the television worked. I never needed anything. Just a comfortable chair and I'm fine.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Acceptance is going to a restaurant where the salad's not great, but the steak is fine."

Acceptance is going to a restaurant where the salad's not great, but the steak is fine.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "You make friends with older people and you always feel young no matter what."

You make friends with older people and you always feel young no matter what.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "You know, I became a director out of necessity. I was writing comedies, and I couldn't find anybody to deliver it correctly."

You know, I became a director out of necessity. I was writing comedies, and I couldn't find anybody to deliver it correctly.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "You can equate acting to a tennis game: When you're playing one of the best, you get better."

You can equate acting to a tennis game: When you're playing one of the best, you get better.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "It's better to be known by six people for something you're proud of than to be known by sixty million for something you're not."

It's better to be known by six people for something you're proud of than to be known by sixty million for something you're not.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "As an actor, if you're just sitting and staring and you don't know who you are in your own mind, it's vacant. And sometimes the camera is an X-ray machine, it can pick it up."

As an actor, if you're just sitting and staring and you don't know who you are in your own mind, it's vacant. And sometimes the camera is an X-ray machine, it can pick it up.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Donald Trump announces this morning that he will run for president. His hair will announce on Friday."

Donald Trump announces this morning that he will run for president. His hair will announce on Friday.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "If you paint, write, do mosaics, knit - if it's solving that part of your brain saying, 'I need to do this,' you've won."

If you paint, write, do mosaics, knit - if it's solving that part of your brain saying, 'I need to do this,' you've won.



Albert Brooks Quotes: "Nothing surprises me. After Donald Trump, nothing matters, does it?"

Nothing surprises me. After Donald Trump, nothing matters, does it?