Smoking cures weight problems, eventually.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Life is the greatest chance that has been given to all of us. So how do you choose to live your life? You’ve got a pen. Write it down.

No back in the history of football was ever worth two fumbles a game.

Giving gifts to others is a fundamental activity, as old as humanity itself. Yet in the modern, complex world, the particulars of gift-giving can be extraordinarily challenging.

I'm from a big family. I've got 10 nieces and nephews.

I think people know that I've got a good heart.

You will find that women who are pregnant often don't want to be and women who aren't desperately envy those who are. Labour wards are always full of very punitive people.

Gratitude creates the most wonderful feeling. It can resolve disputes. It can strengthen friendships. And it makes us better men and women.

It's not our ability to get forgiveness that saves us. It's out ability to grant forgiveness.

It's normal that people expect more from the French team.

Whoever the master is whom you prefer, this must only be a directive for you. Otherwise you will never be anything but an imitator.