Santa Fe is fun to visit, but property there will cost you an arm and a dillo.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

Where were you then?Who else was there?Saying what?Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly when I am sad and feel you are far away?

By faith we will become strong and withstand the spiritual battle warring against us

Stress is unnecessary and unnecessary stress is very unnecessary.

My grandfather had a paint store. It's what put my mom through college. Small business is part of my family history.

When you make something, cleaning it out of structural debris is one of the most vital things you do.

If increased meta-knowledge is not counter-balanced by a corresponding growth in consciousness then the likelihood of psycho-spiritual dysfunction is great.

You don't force change; you just open yourself to its possibilities and let it work through you.

Science is about finding ever better approximations rather than pretending you have already found ultimate truth. A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

Some things are sent to test us. Clearly you must be good at problem solving if you are being set tough exams.

When I was about 13, 14 - 13, I would carry a magic marker with me everywhere I went so I could write the word "Bowie" on everything that wasn't mine.