Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Someone will complete you some day and that day will never be late. Those nouns and verbs are above wonderful and never ending .

When I get up I still check the rap blogs before I check any kind of dance stuff.

The ingredients for another Palestinian uprising are always there because as long as there is so much violence it is bound to explode. How, I cannot tell. But people will not accept it forever.

You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.

Death is the essential condition of life, not an evil.

How much did I hear of religion as a child? Very little, and yet my heart leaped when I heard the name of God. I do believe every soul has a tendency toward God.

What I'm trying to do right now is truly answer my most deepest most unarticulated questions for myself through my writing in some form.

The safest rule of conduct is to claim kinship when we want to do service and not to insist on kinship when we want to assert a right.

You do well to have visions of a better life than of every day, but it is the life of every day from which the elements of a better life must come.

There exists only one person who has the power to cast the deciding vote that will kill your dream…you!