Of all the wonderful things that men and women share, shoes, tragically, are not one of them. This is because men lack the shoe chromosome.

What do women want? Shoes.

What becomes of the broken-hearted? They buy shoes.

Planning your own coming-of-age experience may wither you prematurely, but just think of it this way: If you can get through this, childbirth should be a breeze.

Walking in high heels should be made an Olympic sport.

Remember when you were eleven years old and you thought how great it would be to get your period? And then you got it? That's what planning a wedding is like.

Even if you're fat, one thing always fits: shoes.

... the running shoe ... could be called the Swiss Army knife of footwear ... What appeal is there to a shoe whose only selling point is comfort?

In LA, it's the law that you must be engaged in writing a screenplay with your hairdresser, pool boy, personal trainer, life coach, dog walker, or yoga instructor.

Your wedding will not be what you think it is going to be, no matter what you think it is going to be.

I wasn’t invited to be on staff at the Simpsons because they didn’t want any women on staff at the time.

Self-love is not the process of ignoring your flaws. Self-love is expanding your awareness to include your flaws and your strengths.

I think it's horrible that people have to be told. Don't smoke! Everybody knows it's bad for the health. But they have to forbid it.

I decided that I wanted to be a voice on every animated cartoon in the history of the world - even shows that haven't been on the air for a very long time, that's going to be harder to pull off.

Love can do all but raise the Dead.

I think I'm a pretty right down the middle guy. I just think that's kind of who I am. I'm not afraid of my own journey.

The law of self-fulfilling prophecy says that you get what you expect. So why not create great expectations and the highest vision possible of yourself and your world?

I'm easy driving, But I'm not a person who loves living pleasantly above all else. I'm not that way at all. I might think I'm that, but I'm not really that.

Well I'm not dumb, but I can't understand why she walked like a woman, but talked like a man.

I'd come to respect the bag.

See how today's achievement is only tomorrow's confusion;See how possession always cheapens the thing that was precious.