I decided that I wanted to be a voice on every animated cartoon in the history of the world - even shows that haven't been on the air for a very long time, that's going to be harder to pull off.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

David Cameron is a C-3P0 made of ham.

The greatest dividends in life are those that we give away.

Women want love to be a novel, men a short story.

Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.

Mama, put my guns in the ground, I can't shoot them anymore. That long black cloud is coming down.

I know what the teaching is, but to realize the teaching in a life experience, the sh*t really is an opportunity to find out who we truly are. To really learn and to awaken to our potential.

The Grammys thing doesn't even touch my world at all.

I do the best I can with any instrument I get attracted to. But they're just tools in order for you to express yourself and that's really the upshot of it.

Having a yacht is a reason for being more cheerful than most.

It's been a pattern in my life - when I get in trouble, I try to get out of it, since I was little.