In LA, it's the law that you must be engaged in writing a screenplay with your hairdresser, pool boy, personal trainer, life coach, dog walker, or yoga instructor.

What do women want? Shoes.

What becomes of the broken-hearted? They buy shoes.

Planning your own coming-of-age experience may wither you prematurely, but just think of it this way: If you can get through this, childbirth should be a breeze.

Of all the wonderful things that men and women share, shoes, tragically, are not one of them. This is because men lack the shoe chromosome.

Walking in high heels should be made an Olympic sport.

Remember when you were eleven years old and you thought how great it would be to get your period? And then you got it? That's what planning a wedding is like.

Even if you're fat, one thing always fits: shoes.

... the running shoe ... could be called the Swiss Army knife of footwear ... What appeal is there to a shoe whose only selling point is comfort?

Your wedding will not be what you think it is going to be, no matter what you think it is going to be.

I wasn’t invited to be on staff at the Simpsons because they didn’t want any women on staff at the time.

Truth is not something outside to be discovered, it is something inside to be realized.

Wherever they may have come from, and wherever they may have gone, unicorns live inside the true believer's heart. Which means as long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.

Tis I whom children love the best; / My wealth is all for them; / For them is set each glossy cup / Upon each sturdy stem.

I think when you don't know where you stand with someone, they can surprise you in their goodness and their badness, and that makes them human.

One that does not think to highly of himself is more than he thinks.

I have to say, creating memories is so important to me that I did a book about creating memories for your family.

But, right now, the situation is that almost all of my writing is out of print.

You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.

No matter the bad things that happened in past time, let's try to live the best we can now.