Planning your own coming-of-age experience may wither you prematurely, but just think of it this way: If you can get through this, childbirth should be a breeze.

What do women want? Shoes.

What becomes of the broken-hearted? They buy shoes.

Of all the wonderful things that men and women share, shoes, tragically, are not one of them. This is because men lack the shoe chromosome.

Walking in high heels should be made an Olympic sport.

Remember when you were eleven years old and you thought how great it would be to get your period? And then you got it? That's what planning a wedding is like.

Even if you're fat, one thing always fits: shoes.

... the running shoe ... could be called the Swiss Army knife of footwear ... What appeal is there to a shoe whose only selling point is comfort?

In LA, it's the law that you must be engaged in writing a screenplay with your hairdresser, pool boy, personal trainer, life coach, dog walker, or yoga instructor.

Your wedding will not be what you think it is going to be, no matter what you think it is going to be.

I wasn’t invited to be on staff at the Simpsons because they didn’t want any women on staff at the time.

Always yearn to be an instrument for the Kingdom

Treats and tricks.Witch broomsticks.Jack-o-lanternsLick their lips.Crows and cats.Vampire bats.Capes and fangsAnd pointed hats.Werewolves howl.Phantoms prowl.Halloween’s Upon us now.

You are in love with my husband. You need some acting lessons to learn to hide it better.

Karma means that through your thoughts and feelings and actions, you are generating a state of mind. That state of mind has a view. That view will cause things to happen to you or not happen to you.

Too quick a sense of constant infelicity.

I don't know about you, but rattlesnake sounds pretty damn good right now.

Truth is the same thing to the understanding, as Music to the ear, and Beauty to the eye.

You might say it was my return to the living that launched me as a singer. I was placed in an oxygen tent, and the doctors brought me back to life.

Remember your natural affection for all of creation.

There is nothing more satisfying than having a sentence fall into place in a way you feel is right, and then adding another one and then another one. It's extraordinarily satisfying.