If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Those swift to think are not always secure.

Never take someone for granted based on your perception and act on it, for that would yield in ultimate disaster!

Tomorrow will use you the way you use today.

When people screamed novelty the first time around talking about an ugly video and stuff I was really insulted because, hold on a minute, everyone you see in the video are real life.

The more you love your children, the more care you should take to neglect them occasionally. The web of affection can be drawn too tight.

It was heartbreaking . . . I think it was disappointing because I had such an identity in being 'Mrs. Parker', and being a wife, and so when that's taken away from you, you [think], 'Who am I?

Change happens through movement and movement heals.

That team across the way, you tip your hat to them. They did a great job. It showed in these Finals.

Even within traditional universities there has always been debate about whether it wouldn't be better to focus on only one course at a time.

My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.