I had teeth that stuck out so far, I used to eat other kids' candy bars by accident.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

In the pursuit of knowledge, we know God, the source of knowledge and wisdom.

He liked the way her smile infected him and infused a bit of heat into his cold bones—a warmth missing until he'd opened the door to her flower shop.

Instinct teaches us to look for happiness outside ourselves.

The day is coming when, in 45 seconds, you can download a movie.

Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.

Writing with privacy is paramount. You must feel free to admit to yourself your deepest, darkest secrets and true feelings.

I know I have a fairly strong feminine side. I find myself really distanced from male behavior.

Sam’s probably out there somewhere being his usual heroic self,” Caine said. “I can’t let that boy save the world all alone. I’d never live it down.

dont let anyone tell you what you are ever- that way you never run the danger of becoming anything but what you believe in.

Well, Bud," he said, looking at me, "I'll be damned if you don't go to a lot of trouble to have your fun. Kidnapping, then fighting. What do you do on your holidays? Burn houses?