The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.

But it would be like going to Heaven and not finding any of your friends there. Her life would go all beatific and empty in the eyes.

Be careful you don’t give up on what is yet to give you victory. Many people quit when they were yet to win. Successful people never quit and I believe no quitter had ever been successful too.

You know what Munny said to me, right before we left? She said, ‘Watching someone die is hard work. Go to Australia and watch Faye fall in love with some dude named Rabbit. That should be fun.

Only a foolish soul would love the stars. As beautiful as they are, they will burn you. Regardless of your best intentions.

It is not everyday that one learns an entire militia has sworn unbeknownest to obey you

Long as I was riding in a big Cadillac and dressed nice and had plenty of food, that's all I cared about.

Suggested remedy for the common cold: A good gulp of whiskey at bedtime-it's not very scientific, but it helps.

I considered becoming a Christian... until I met one.

One stands, in fact, in awe of the Constitution of the United States, though it is an idea and not quite a reality.

By your logic I should also be in charge of Solinade dances, needlework, and horse thieving.