I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear.

I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.

Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans.

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.

The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream

Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams.

The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is.

I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.

Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.

It was a hard name having growing up as a child. Some kids would call me names like "Birbiglebug" and "Birbibliography" and "Faggot". Some were more clever than others.

Children are our future we must take care of them with maximum effort.

Your opponents do not want you to persevere

The Lone Ranger of vampires. Did that make me Tonto?

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

I grew up on the beaches of Southern California surfing and sailing and I've always loved horses so it was part of my dream that I was able to fulfill to have horses.

Money means in a thousand minds a thousand subtly different, roughly similar, systems of images, associations, suggestions and impulses.

I am forever a romantic. I try to bring that into my work. I try not to be fooled by romance. Or work.

I wished that, for once, faery tales – real faery tales, not Disney fairy tales – would have a happy ending.

Lady Gaga's fans are the worst.

Take the blinders from your vision take the padding from your ears and confess you've heard me crying and admit you've seen my tears.