I don't understand women at all. Like how a women can pour boiling hot wax onto their upper thigh, then rip the hair out by the root... and still be afraid of a spider.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Great victories and mountain experiences are invariably followed by vulnerabilities and emotional valley experiences. Know that and get prepared physically, mentally and emotionally.

Life's full of chances to hurt yourself or someone else.

The truth is, you can never really know a man until you've loaned him money. And you can never know a woman until you've slept in her bed.

Going through that traumatic time of being heartbroken and then being pregnant turned my whole life upside down and inside out and just knocked the wind out of me. But I got so much out of that.

You the devil in drag. You can burn your cross, Well, I'll burn your flag.

I can't write songs unless I am in love.

Wearing nothing but sweats and a sheer coat of lip gloss, she wiggle through her frosted window and jumped six feet to freedom, feeling more charged than a Visa card at Christmas time.

Donald Trump must give the American public his tax returns to show that he's qualified to be president and he's breaking his promise.

And if joy were not on the earth, There were an end of change and birth, And Earth and Heaven and Hell would die, And in some gloomy barrow lie Folded like a frozen fly.

On the pitch and for life generally, I keep my center by remembering that I am part of a team and if I don't do my part, I let down not just my team but everyone who follows it.