I don't really believe in pretending to be happy when you're not. Mostly I believe that you should burden your friends with your problems.

Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except, I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all.

A little glitter can turn your whole day around.

Even though sometimes you can control your anger, you can't control your sadness.

I was a good kid, but I was just very chatty. Teachers were rarely entertained, but occasionally a child was, which was enough for me. Everything was so urgent. I needed to say it immediately.

I'm not actually sure I'm grown-up enough for grown-up books.

My senior year of high school, I was voted Wittiest. So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money.

Can't we be friends?' I hate your guts, Frankovitch' Can't our guts be friends?

I don't even like clowns. Clowns are not normal people.

I find the term perfect child to be an oxymoron.

A stick or a stone only stings for a minute. A name seems to hurt forever.

All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket.

When you were a tadpole and I was a fish in the Palaozoic time And side by side in the sluggish tide we sprawled in the ooze and slime.

As our acts vary, our habits will follow in their course.

Before making a decision, ask inside for guidance. Be patient and await an answer. Act only when you feel calm and certain.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

One minute we're over here, the next minute we're doing something completely different. But it's interesting because you are producing so many things you couldn't do with analog.

When somebody wants to work and believes in something, it doesn't matter if you're well known or rich or whatever it is.

God puts mentors in your path. They may not look like you, sound like you, or be what you expect. But they always know more that you.

There is a big confusion in this country over what we want verses what we need...you need food. You want a chocolate sundae.

Everything is about to disappear. You've got to hurry up if you still want to see things.