I find the term perfect child to be an oxymoron.

Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except, I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all.

A little glitter can turn your whole day around.

I don't really believe in pretending to be happy when you're not. Mostly I believe that you should burden your friends with your problems.

Even though sometimes you can control your anger, you can't control your sadness.

I was a good kid, but I was just very chatty. Teachers were rarely entertained, but occasionally a child was, which was enough for me. Everything was so urgent. I needed to say it immediately.

I'm not actually sure I'm grown-up enough for grown-up books.

My senior year of high school, I was voted Wittiest. So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money.

Can't we be friends?' I hate your guts, Frankovitch' Can't our guts be friends?

I don't even like clowns. Clowns are not normal people.

A stick or a stone only stings for a minute. A name seems to hurt forever.

My reflection followed me mercilessly in mirrors, car doors, shop windows. I lived in a world of circus mirrors, the grotesque distortion of my body looking back at me everywhere.

There are people who design buildings that are not technically and financially good, and there are those who do. Two categories - simple.

The merely well-informed man is the most useless bore on God's earth.

Sometimes I surprise my own damn self.

Sound is your friend because sound is much cheaper than picture, but it has equal effect on the audience - in some ways, perhaps more effect because it does it in a very indirect way.

I am one who finds within me a nobility that spurns the idle pratings of the great, and their mean boasts of what their fathers were, while they themselves are fools effeminate.

One of the greatest pleasures I get from my measly professional career is confusing people.

It is positively spooky how the physicist finds the mathematician has been there before him or her.

That's the era we grew up in. It's weak to go to a psychiatrist.

People are going to judge you anyway, so you might as well do what you want.