I can't eat chicken and look at strippers at the same time.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Stop living in the shadows of another. You've been given everything needed to live a purposed filled life. Don't be a second rate version of yourself.

Be "Yourself" enough to have an opinion, Be "Wise" enough to recognise a difference of opinion, Be "Mature" enough to find a way for co-existence.

People who work hard often work too hard. ... May we learn to honor the hammock, the siesta, the nap and the pause in all its forms.

You transfix me quite.

Within the oyster's shell uncouth The purest pearl may hide, Trust me you'll find a heart of truth Within that rough outside.

The major gossip columnists were more concerned with protecting the industry than with gunning down sinners.

It was the first time I had ever made love. I wondered if he knew that. It felt like crying. I wondered, Why does anyone ever make love?

Awareness is a mirror reflecting the four elements. Beauty is a heart that generates love and a mind that is open.

Instead of being afraid of the challenge and failure, be afraid of avoiding the challenge and doing nothing

I don't make proper flower arrangements; mine just grow, like the garden.