How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?

James Franco, acting, teaching, directing, writing, producing, photography, soundtracks, editing - is there anything you can do?

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.

Justin's fan are called Beliebers because it's politically incorrect to use the word retards.

I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the 'Fast and Furious' franchise.

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped?

Even though death is the worst thing to go through, Heaven is still the best place to go to.

Bigwig: "I can't think why he didn't convince Threarah."Hazel: "Because Threarah doesn't like anything he hasn't thought of for himself.

Please believe me. I've nothing against you personally. It's just that I laugh at all jokes.

The aristocracy in the future is not one of wealth or university education, but the aristocracy of the men who have done something for themselves and their fellow men.

I have always thought of Christmas time... as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time.

In this sport, in this life, I think heart takes you a lot further than skill and technique... Just digging down deep will take you a lot further in life.

Priority number one for too many of us is not the glory of God but the blessing of ourselves.

A book of verses underneath the bough, A jug of wine, a loaf of bread-and thou.

There is no counting the unsolved problems of Natural History.

The Limeys want us in even with our hastily made plans and our half-trained and half-equipped troops.