Humour Life Quotes

Humour Life Quote of the day

Cultivate your sense of humour. On life's journey from nappy rash to denture adhesive, humour is a great pain reliever.

Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags.

So, your god is the only god? Okay, but then, so is my dog.

I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am.

Neither any one in this world is born as our friend nor born as our enemy.Our behavior, attitude & approach makes them become either one.

Marcus looked down. “Ah, man! This was my favorite shirt. Who tore it?” he asked, trying to pull the ragged edges together.

If a religious book makes you harbor ill thoughts about those with differing faith, then, you're reading the wrong crap of late.

Frankly, the only good people who I know are dogs.

Oh sod me, Sir, not another bloody Paddy. Even a Brummie is better than another Paddy.

I swear I've good morals. It's just that bad ones befriend me. I'm a friendly person, you know. But I will talk to them. Believe you me.

I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.

I shall tell you about God once you've reached your imaginary heaven. Then, give me a call.

You still are? There go my plans! And the suit I had bought to attend your funeral. Well, well. Anyway, do call me up when you an't.

People will laugh at anything, except their own moronic self.

Please believe me. I've nothing against you personally. It's just that I laugh at all jokes.

Whenever I wish to pay my respect to you, my middle finger says, it must first.

I wish you well - if you will die. May you rest in peace.

If I were married, I would be unmarried.

Do not believe in a god who is as silly, and meaner than you. For, that would surely be your higher-self, and your stupid alter-ego.

Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.

An atheist is a person who has nobody to blame when he screws up.

Dead people are just great. Meet me when you are.

I wish you all the best in life. Hell, I will even write your obituary for free.

Don't worry. Life goes on. With or without you. So, live it, while it's given you.

Don't, but if at all, then, lie to the whole damn world - never to your own damn, silly stupid self.

All humans are rogues. Cured only by death.

On a supra human level, yeah, I got That Which Is. Yet on a simple human level, rare are times when either my left or my right foot is not in some kind of shit.

What a glorious day!

Cold feet under a warm blanket, steam over an empty mug--rain splatters on dry window pane--open journals of closed memories... tears of laughter and joy of pain... schmaltz of diametric morning.

I love religious nuts. They make me remember I have them too. So, being a health nut, I scratch them religiously. Just as I do my butt.

So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.

Always blow your own trumpet, blowing someone else’s is unhygienic

Humans, left to own misguided devices, scratches the Divine in the self as one would the lice, but remember to lick well all the vices.

There is no human-like god. If there were, he'd be as silly as you.

After your daily bread, if you ask God for anything, ask 'him' to make you right in the head.

I love you all - if you are not people!