Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped?

James Franco, acting, teaching, directing, writing, producing, photography, soundtracks, editing - is there anything you can do?

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.

Justin's fan are called Beliebers because it's politically incorrect to use the word retards.

I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the 'Fast and Furious' franchise.

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

Only when that time is converted can you produce something from it. You can only make wealth from a time well converted.

Any sensible government must learn to unleash the energy of its people and get them to perform instead of trying to get a bureaucracy to perform.

He knew all the answers. Everybody did. Everybody knew everything and everybody knew all the answers. It was just that the enemy seemed to know better ones.

There is very little in civilized life that demands everything you got intellectually, physically, and emotionally. Driving is living. It's aggressive instead of passive living.

Tell your own story, and you will be interesting.

Never attempt to catch a whale with a minnow.

A sympathetic person is placed in the dilemma of a swimmer among drowning men, who all catch at him, and if he gives so much as a leg or a finger, they will drown him.

The author is the successor of the saint, everyone respects the author.

No, he wasn't a pig. He was a lonely, hurt man who didn't know how to cope in a world that had turned its back on him. [Astrid]

Sometimes one gets the feeling that life still thinks it's living in Paris in the '30s.