Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.

I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that.

If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Why do they call it "rush hour" when nothing moves?

Don't associate yourself with toxic people. It's better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.

Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.

Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.

Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

If you can tell stories, create characters, devise incidents, and have sincerity and passion, it doesn't matter a damn how you write.

When your resources are focused on what has been you cannot create all that can still be.

Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had adifferent word for burger flipping

A fine timepiece is part of dressing like a gentleman. When I first made a little money, I bought my first watch which was a Rolex Daytona. It was just one of those things that said I was successful.

I love wearing flat shoes, but I am not one of those girls who walks around in sweat pants and sneakers.

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.

In journalism it is simpler to sound off than it is to find out. It is more elegant to pontificate than it is to sweat.

They say opposites attract, which is possibly why I am very much attracted to Nicholas Parsons.

Wherever politics tries to be redemptive, it is promising too much. Where it wishes to do the work of God, it becomes not divine, but demonic.

It's bad if we are controlled, but if we're not, it can be even worse.