Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

Funny is an attitude.

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.

It sometimes requires ignorance and arrogance to know something for sure.

Niko was a man of few words and flying, sugary snacks. I like that in a human. ~Catcher

If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself.

With me being in my 40s, I knew who I was.

I don't think everybody wanted to be on [new Star Trek series] . I certainly didn't.

Fidelity is the single most important element in solidly enduring marriages.

I wanted to paint pictures of people. I thought, "Why bother doing anything else. Everything else is a waste of time. I want to tell stories about people and their feelings and emotions."

Learn to be thankful to everyone, to the entire creation, even to your enemy and also to those who insult, because they all help you to grow

It is a modern tragedy that despair has so many spokesmen, and hope so few.

Ye Hypocrites, are these your pranks To murder men and gie God thanks Desist for shame, proceed no further God won't accept your thanks for murder.