My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

Funny is an attitude.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.

I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.

Sometimes distance was easier than acting, or explaining.

The first noble truth says simply that it’s part of being human to feel discomfort.

Oh, grown-ups cannot understand, And grown-ups never will, How short the way to fairyland Across the purple hill.

To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.

James Michael and I played everything on the album, then brought in the guys in my band to add their spirit to it with solos and specific parts.

We'll run a lot of multiple sets - pro set, twin set, the box set, ... We'll run a lot of option plays and pass the ball more than in the past.

Galás is a great artist with a very powerful voice.

The way of learning is none other than finding the lost mind.

Violence against women is the single greatest human rights violation of our generation.

Cancer is like another form of life. It's closely related to healthy life. A healthy body is one form of life. Cancer is in a way nature's experiment with life.