EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

I say what I want to say and do what I want to do. There's no in between. People will either love you for it or hate you for it.

That's one of the things I love about being a songwriter first, last and always, because whether I do it or not, if someone does a great job on it, my work is done.

The gentleman calls attention to the good points in others; he does not call attention to their defects. The small man does just the reverse of this.

How do you discover a need that nobody yet knows about? This is where the product breakthroughs come through.

Id rather get up early and go out and do something than stay up late and screw up my body.

Challenge your own status quo - before someone else does.

I love the fact that 35 years later, I still hear my songs on the radio.

Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.

Our image of happiness is indissolubly bound up with the image of the past.

There is always a pressure to separate the Bible from science and to separate the Christian religion from things material.