Christian Deodorant: "Thou Shalt Not Smell"

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

To leave out beautiful sunsets is the secret of good taste.

We spend a lot of energy remembering failures God spent a lot of love saying we could forget.

I don't consider myself an action hero, at all. My domestic life is the same as anyone else's.

I'll protect my Clan, whatever it takes.

Nearly 60% of Americans who regularly attend Christian church say there is no such thing as the Holy Spirit—they say the Holy Spirit is just a symbol of God’s power or presence or purity.

Truth can break the gates down, truth can howl in the street; unless truth is pleasing, personable and easy to like, she is condemned to stay whimpering at the back door.

How do we know what we know? Is seeing believing? Is believing seeing?

I was an only child, eventually.

God gave us the gift of life. It is the most precious gift ever. To be unarmed is to be helpless to protect that gift; that is outright irresponsible.

Virtue is beauty, but the beauteous evil. Are empty trunks o'erflourished by the devil.