As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.

Say what you want about the deaf.

The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

This strange disease of modern life with its sick hurry its divided aims.

The transpersonal is more awe-inspiring, more exciting than the thing we confuse it for.

I worked so much when my first son was born that I missed a lot.

I'm Godless. I've had to make my God, and my God is narrative filmmaking

In a thriller, the camera's an active narrator, or can be.

The wolf's clear, intelligent eyes brushed mine. The wolf is gentle-hearted. Not noble, not cowardly, just nonfighting.

These are really terribly rough times, and we really should try to be as nice to each other as possible.

Life is vital and we should relax a little and enjoy it as we only have one life as far as I'm aware.

I think moms need to share information on a regular, intimate basis.

You are an adult when, faced with important decisions, you choose to have more faith in yourself than anything else.