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Henny Youngman Quotes: Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says,
         

Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!"


Henny Youngman
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Other quotes of Henny Youngman


My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.



I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.



A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.



If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.



When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.



A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.



Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did



Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.



Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.



What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.





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If it be well weighed, to say that a man lieth, is as much to say, as that he is brave towards God and a coward towards men.

If it be well weighed, to say that a man lieth, is as much to say, as that he is brave towards God and a coward towards men.



Everything we encounter can have a positive influence in shaping our life when we adopt a lens of Gratitude.

Everything we encounter can have a positive influence in shaping our life when we adopt a lens of Gratitude.




To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia: To mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess.

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia: To mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess.



The whole business of reading English Literature in two years, to know it in any reputable sense of the word - let alone your learning to write English - is, in short, impossible.

The whole business of reading English Literature in two years, to know it in any reputable sense of the word - let alone your learning to write English - is, in short, impossible.



Players draw confidence from a poised, alert coach who anticipates changing in game conditions

Players draw confidence from a poised, alert coach who anticipates changing in game conditions



Here lies Mickey Mantle. Banned from baseball.

Here lies Mickey Mantle. Banned from baseball.



When we affirm that philosophy begins with wonder , we are affirming in effect that sentiment is prior to reason .

When we affirm that philosophy begins with wonder , we are affirming in effect that sentiment is prior to reason .




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, &quot;Huh. I lost 100 pounds!&quot;". Author of this quote is Henny Youngman. This quote is about parking meters, drunk, meter, pounds, funny, parking, lost, humor,.