A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

If the thought of it brings sorrow to your mind, then by all means place a positive interpretation on it and then switch your focus to what brings you joy.

Lightening flashed again and again but above the shriek of the wind and the pounding hail they never heard the thunder.

There is a lack of leadership outside the Beltway, outside of politics.

The Unhappy may, possibly, by indulging Thought, hit on some lucky Stratagem for the Relief of his Misfortunes, and the Happy may be infinitely more so by contemplating on his Condition.

When you're winning games, everyone thinks everything the manager says and does is fantastic. Then it goes the other way, and those earlier criticisms of players can backfire.

When they said "Make love, not war" at Woodstock, they never imagined that one would become as dangerous as the other.

I always like an environment where theres lots of women and everyones different.

I love Sam Mendes. He's a fantastic director.

You know," I said to Michael, "my girlfriend took him down with a broken tree branch." "Too bad she isn't here," he said.

Never argue with your wife about hostility when she's a certified Freudian.