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Funny Work Quotes

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Funny Work Quotes: "The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people."

The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.



Funny Work Quotes: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow."

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.




Funny Work Quotes: "The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open."

The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.



Funny Work Quotes: "He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose."

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose.




Funny Work Quotes: "A good vacation is over when you begin to yearn for your work."

A good vacation is over when you begin to yearn for your work.



Funny Work Quotes: "A foolproof plan for not getting a job - show up for your interview wearing flip flops."

A foolproof plan for not getting a job - show up for your interview wearing flip flops.



Funny Work Quotes: "Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we'd be here every freakin' day."

Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we'd be here every freakin' day.




Funny Work Quotes: "Everyone rises to their level of incompetence."

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.



Funny Work Quotes: "If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it."

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.



Funny Work Quotes: "My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me.""

My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."



Funny Work Quotes: "If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you."

If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.



Funny Work Quotes: "Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some."

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.




Funny Work Quotes: "I never go about a new project as if I'm trying ot redefine myself. I just like to work, and I'm excited by material I find challenging and - if it's a comedy - exceptionally funny."

I never go about a new project as if I'm trying ot redefine myself. I just like to work, and I'm excited by material I find challenging and - if it's a comedy - exceptionally funny.



Funny Work Quotes: "I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year."

I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year.



Funny Work Quotes: "Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held."

Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.



Funny Work Quotes: "It might be said that it is the ideal of the employer to have production without employees and the ideal of the employee is to have income without work."

It might be said that it is the ideal of the employer to have production without employees and the ideal of the employee is to have income without work.



Funny Work Quotes: "I think one of the things I was most interested in finding out was how differently we approached our work. And my reality was that we didn't approach it very differently at all, which was funny."

I think one of the things I was most interested in finding out was how differently we approached our work. And my reality was that we didn't approach it very differently at all, which was funny.



Funny Work Quotes: "It gets late early out there."

It gets late early out there.



Funny Work Quotes: "I've been promoted to middle management. I never thought I'd sink so low."

I've been promoted to middle management. I never thought I'd sink so low.



Funny Work Quotes: "After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that."

After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.



Funny Work Quotes: "If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock."

If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.



Funny Work Quotes: "Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable."

Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.



Funny Work Quotes: "A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you've probably made a serious vocational error."

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you've probably made a serious vocational error.



Funny Work Quotes: "The best way to appreciate your job is to, is here to stay."

The best way to appreciate your job is to, is here to stay.



Funny Work Quotes: "I work until beer o'clock."

I work until beer o'clock.



Funny Work Quotes: "I'm just the least funny person in a room full of funny people, which is basically every single day of work for me."

I'm just the least funny person in a room full of funny people, which is basically every single day of work for me.



Funny Work Quotes: "What's funny is we were doing some fire at work the other day and it was reminding me of all the firework I got to do as Havok, because a lot of that was as practical as you could get."

What's funny is we were doing some fire at work the other day and it was reminding me of all the firework I got to do as Havok, because a lot of that was as practical as you could get.



Funny Work Quotes: "You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor."

You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.



Funny Work Quotes: "There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft."

There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.



Funny Work Quotes: "I like to think my sense of humor is sort of smart and dumb at the same time. I like to work on multiple levels - smart and dumb, funny and sad, profound and mundane, cynical and hopeful."

I like to think my sense of humor is sort of smart and dumb at the same time. I like to work on multiple levels - smart and dumb, funny and sad, profound and mundane, cynical and hopeful.



Funny Work Quotes: "IT'S funny. It doesn't work the other way round !"

IT'S funny. It doesn't work the other way round !



Funny Work Quotes: "It's funny when you put music up against picture, and all your preconceptions go away, and you start over. You just realize that that doesn't work at all."

It's funny when you put music up against picture, and all your preconceptions go away, and you start over. You just realize that that doesn't work at all.



Funny Work Quotes: "Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work."

Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work.



Funny Work Quotes: "Meryl Streep is awesome. I really want to work with Emma Stone; she is adorable. Now I want to work with Octavia Spencer, because I met her and she's really funny."

Meryl Streep is awesome. I really want to work with Emma Stone; she is adorable. Now I want to work with Octavia Spencer, because I met her and she's really funny.



Funny Work Quotes: "No one's dream job involves a kiosk."

No one's dream job involves a kiosk.



Funny Work Quotes: "I do pauses, pauses work for me"

I do pauses, pauses work for me



Funny Work Quotes: "I work in a "you scratch my back, and I'll stab yours" kind of a place."

I work in a "you scratch my back, and I'll stab yours" kind of a place.



Funny Work Quotes: "Now I want to work with Octavia Spencer, because I met her and she's really funny."

Now I want to work with Octavia Spencer, because I met her and she's really funny.



Funny Work Quotes: "I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it, because when they fired me, I had to show up to work anyway."

I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it, because when they fired me, I had to show up to work anyway.



Funny Work Quotes: "I am always acting, be at a party, at work or in office. My attitude changes from meeting to meeting, from being serious to intense to funny, depending on who is in the room."

I am always acting, be at a party, at work or in office. My attitude changes from meeting to meeting, from being serious to intense to funny, depending on who is in the room.