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Scott Adams Quotes

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Scott Adams Quotes: "Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.




Scott Adams Quotes: "If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done."

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.




Scott Adams Quotes: "I love you like a fat kid loves cake!"

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!



Scott Adams Quotes: "The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the"

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the




Scott Adams Quotes: "Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems."

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.



Scott Adams Quotes: "You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me."

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results."

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.




Scott Adams Quotes: "Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt."

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive."

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart."

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams."

Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.




Scott Adams Quotes: "The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots."

The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.



Scott Adams Quotes: "There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot."

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant."

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.



Scott Adams Quotes: "I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination."

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.



Scott Adams Quotes: "I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun."

I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.



Scott Adams Quotes: "The best things in life are silly."

The best things in life are silly.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time."

Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.



Scott Adams Quotes: "If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it."

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."

Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it."

Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve."

Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership."

Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.



Scott Adams Quotes: "If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you."

If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.



Scott Adams Quotes: "There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens."

There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens.



Scott Adams Quotes: "A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer."

A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo"

Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo



Scott Adams Quotes: "In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks."

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure."

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.



Scott Adams Quotes: "The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility."

The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto"

Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto



Scott Adams Quotes: "Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion."

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company."

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you."

Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge."

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.



Scott Adams Quotes: "We know the goats are imported because they don't speak English."

We know the goats are imported because they don't speak English.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane."

Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.



Scott Adams Quotes: "The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th."

The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.



Scott Adams Quotes: "The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management."

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Remember, freedom is always taken, never given."

Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.



Scott Adams Quotes: "On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key."

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.



Scott Adams Quotes: "The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech"

The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech



Scott Adams Quotes: "The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it."

The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.



Scott Adams Quotes: "I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles."

I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster."

Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.



Scott Adams Quotes: "The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits."

The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.



Scott Adams Quotes: "In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants."

In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.



Scott Adams Quotes: "Most success springs from an obstacle or failure."

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.