Funny Quotes

So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work.

I can't go on Gawker. I actually think the writing is really funny, but there is a chance that somebody is undercutting me.

One of my biggest pet peeves is that I just don't like it when characters do things that are funny to the writer, but you don't know why they're doing it and it doesn't make any sense.

It's a funny thing: You want so badly for people to see what you do - you're proud of it - and I like the effect that movies have on people. But the attention can also make me uncomfortable.

It's funny now how much we look at - whatever you want to call it: art, design, culture stuff, film - online, and how in the online world, you're instantly global.

I don't care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard.

I didn't grow up identifying with beauty. I grew up thinking I could be smart and funny - those are the things I got feedback on.

When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.

There are a lot of funny people and a lot of unfunny people. Some of them are women and some of them are dudes.

I grew up in a funny way.

The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband.

It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny.

Some really good things kind of swing both ways and I like to see people that can swing really, really, really sad and horrible and terrible and really, really, really beautiful and funny.

I am dating, but it is hard to find someone quick enough and funny enough. I am quite demanding.

I would say 80% of the scripts I get are dramas and not comedies or romantic comedies, which is funny because that's what I do every week.

I always was a funny guy, the class clown. I had a very funny dad and an extremely funny grandmother.

He has a heart of gold - only harder.

People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'

The funny thing about being Catholic, and I was raised Catholic, is that you identify with the Church, just as part of your character. Nevermind what you believe, it's just who you are.

I think the kick to doing comedy is just to get in a film with really funny people and let them do their jobs. I find that in most comedies, I'm not the funny one, which works out great.

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.

The funny thing is, about the time I let go of any aspiration toward worldly success, that's about the time I started writing decent work.

That’s the funny thing about arriving somewhere, Vin,” he said with a wink. “Once you’re there, the only thing you can really do is leave again.

That's the funny thing about cinema, it is an intellectual medium, but it's also sort of anti-intellectual.

It was always a funny thing when someone would ask me my name and I would say "Brooklyn." They would always think that I meant that I lived in Brooklyn, and I would have to clarify that.

I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny.

The funny thing is musicians often love to go to see visual art because you've got all these pictures to turn into metaphors.

The funny thing is that I had never actually watched TV.

I have a really analytical approach to art. And the whole idea that you can't analyze what makes a joke funny...I do not agree with that at all.

Chemistrys a funny thing. It can be instantaneous, but it helps when you know someone.

Funny thing happens, [Melania Trump] gets so unfairly - the things they say, I have known her for a long time, she was a very successful person, a very successful model. She did really well.

Coming up with a funny joke is like falling in love: It can hit you any time, anywhere. Having said that, the more you put yourself out there, the better your odds will be.

It's a funny thing about writing. You get so balled up in a story idea that you lose your perspective and forget that human being might read your words someday.

What once were two, are one

I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go.

Funny thing, every time an angel appeared to someone in the Bible, the first thing he'd say was, "Fear not."... I guess they were pretty spectacular.

You know, albums are a funny thing. They're not like an intellectual decision. It's a collection of your kind of musings.

Time is a funny thing. I was always puzzled with the way a single day could stretch itself out to the point of eternity in your mind, all while years melted down into the fraction of a second.

That's the funny thing about havin' a kid. They come with their own set of problems; make everything else you were worried about seem kinda silly.

Being funny with a funny voice is more my comfort zone, a broader character that I try to humanize, a kind of silly or wacky persona that I try to fill in.

The funny thing is that people see one film like 'Racing Stripes' or 'Ice Princess' and all of a sudden, slip me into this category of 'that's what she's always involved in.

What I usually do is tell funny stories from the road, many of which are, of course, unprintable. But I don't actually have a joke. I don't tell jokes much. I tell little stories.

I'm about being funny. If I can make a joke using profanity, I will. But for the most part, that can get awfully old and boring.

While I was busy hating Vegas, and hiding from Vegas, a funny thing happened. I grew to love Vegas.

You gotta have the balls to go out there and be funny, man.

I never say a funny thing intentionally.

I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not.

As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny.

My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.