I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not.

The worst kind of idiot is the one who doesn't think they're an idiot.

There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.

Comedians sometimes forget that there's an audience. You gotta be conscious that you're performing for other human beings.

I hate cellphones. They are not for good, they're for evil. They're for gossip.

If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac.

I felt very comfortable about myself when I was much heavier. I feel much better about myself from being fit.

As an individual doing a podcast, you don't get even remotely rich. It's not something to do for money.

By the way, to perform in front of Don Rickles, it 's not nerve-wrecking. It 's enjoyable, i am enjoying Jeff Garlin. I hope I perform in front of Don Rickles every night of my life !

I don't ask for the meaning of the song of a bird or the rising of the sun on a misty morning. There they are, and they are beautiful.

Men’s strengths go hand in hand with their weaknesses. That is why there is no such thing as an invincible warrior, and why heroes die.

Neither you nor I can know your destiny. You may never know it! Destiny isn't always like a party at the end of the evening. Sometimes it's nothing more than struggling through life from day to day.

If you make history with God, He'll make history with you

My old man is drunker than a barrel full of monkeys, but my old lady she don't care.

The Bible teaches that God owns the world. He distributes to every man according to His own good pleasure, conformably to general laws.

Stronger than iron crueler than death sweeter than springtime it lives beyond breath

I have my style and I stick to it.

A friend of mine characterizes leaders simply like this: Leaders don't inflict pain. They bear pain.

What we live by we die by.