Howard Stern Quotes

Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.

I will never vote Democrat again, they are Communists.

Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not?

Talent is what drives this world ... Doesn’t matter how many satellites you f---ing stick in the air.

I am completely pissed off that I'm circumcised.

I think I could create a cult, no problem. The hard part is getting people to kill themselves.

When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience.

I'm down with just the Backstreet Boys.

I've always been about honesty, whether on the radio, whether I did a movie, whether I wrote a book. As long as you're honest, you don't lose your edge.

You've got to be a little vicious. You've got to be narcissistic. You've got to be on fire about your career.

I am circumcised, and I tell you something, I despise it. I despise it. I despise it... I am completely pissed off that I'm circumcised.

I think I'm probably a little too desperate to be successful.

I believe in censorship when it benefits me.

Rick Shapiro is a top comedian.

The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it the editor's choice. It sure isn't based on sales.

I'm trapped inside of me and I don't go out at all. I go to bed at eight o'clock at night. I never go out during the week. I'm in psychotherapy four days a week, pretty heavy commitment to it.

I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do.

It's okay for a man to commit adultery if his wife is ugly.

Don't let the government win.

I didn't listen to executives.

This country (United States) has too many freedoms.

I'm going to take over the world. Everyone watch out, you're in big trouble.

I don't think there's one thing I've ever said on the radio that would have been found indecent or obscene.

Please, with the God talk. Hate to break it to you, but there is no God.

You have to make a decision, what you want to do in life, ... Your deal can be, you can leave tomorrow. Soon as you leave, you will be forgotten.

We are busy planning the launch of the channel. I am busy planning all kinds of events that go on the channel without me. I have started producing a sound for the channel.

Relationships are based on trust until you meet someone new.

I'm on the air five hours, and I blurt out anything in my head. Dangerous? Maybe.

Okay, well, I guess I'm still a kid. Because when I get really angry and fired up and I feel like my back is up against the wall, I will say vicious things.

I think people of lesser talent will become stars.

Well, first of all, I'm worth every penny.

Mike Walker is the Hemingway of gossip.

I've never come into anything successful before. I've always been hired by horrible radio stations with horrendous reputations and nothing to lose.

I wanted to go hide. I wasn't looking to be more famous, I'm famous enough.

If you're a Christian you don't sit there and worry about what somebody else is doing, if they're happy and they're committed in a relationship.

I feel blessed, I really feel fulfilled.

I'm in a war, a cultural war.

I don't talk about my salary.

I'm not looking for a paycheck.

I'm a parent, and I regulate what my kids listen to. I don't need the government to be the parent. If I'm a crappy parent, then I need the government involved.

There are a lot of so-called "good Americans" who are really a bunch of bums.

My show was revolutionary, ground-breaking. When I came on the scene, people were not doing a thing.

I've always thought that a name says a lot about a person. So naturally, being named Howard, I always wanted to crawl into a hole.

I don't like being 50 and I don't like thinking about death.

I believe we will start believing in God as we get closer to death.

I'm a believer that satellite radio, whether I'm on it or not, will take off.

I will never feel successful.

It causes me great pain to sue the company I work for. Nevertheless, I had to do it. Suffice it to say, there's a dispute and I believe I haven't been given what is mine.

Every time I went on the radio, I would take the crummiest radio station, the station that was like a toilet bowl. I would go on there and build up the ratings, so you couldn't do any worse.

There are things that I won't do on the radio. I mean, the next logical question is, what won't you do. I say, well, you know, you've got to find out when you're on the air.