Funny Dog Quotes

Funny Dog Quote of the day

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.

Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.

Bulldogs have been known to fall on their swords when confronted by my superior tenacity.

I can't tell you how much we laughed on the set to have Alec Guinness in a scene with a big, furry dog that's flying a space ship.

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one

With the exception of women, there is nothing on earth so agreeable or necessary to the comfort of man as the dog.

He is so shaggy. People are amazed when he gets up and they suddenly realize they have been talking to the wrong end.

Parrots, tortoises and redwoods live a longer life than men do; Men a longer life than dogs do; Dogs a longer life than love does.

I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out.

Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets.

The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets. My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's cat shot right out.

I just bought a Chihuahua. It's the dog for lazy people. You don't have to walk it. Just hold it out the window and squeeze.

Modern houses are so small we've had to train our dog to wag its tail up and down and not sideways.

Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting.

I was like, what the hell is my life coming to? I'm a trained actor! I've done Shakespeare and here I am having farting contests with an imaginary dog!

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes

A Chihuahua. They're good. If you lose one, just empty out your purse.

Dalmatians are not only superior to other dogs, they are like all dogs, infinitely less stupid than men.

Most owners are at length able to teach themselves to obey their dog.

My sister wanted a cat for a pet... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.

The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.

It's like this, dear boy, the one in front is blind and the kind one behind is pushing him.

She is such a scene-stealer. She's got these lashes and big eyes, and when she walks on to the set everybody just says "ooh."

With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.

What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you say, "You better let him finish."

It sometimes takes days, even weeks, before a dog's nerves tire. In the case of terriers it can run into months.

Is it me? Is it like I have a beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?

She lies about her age and weight and is slightly older than Rocket. But they've been a couple for eight years, longer than most in Hollywood.

Pray steal me not, I'm Mrs. Dingley's, Whose heart in this four-footed thing lies.

When I played Lady Day, I took Aba onstage with me as a joke. He started singing-in tune!-and the audience loved it.

Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.

Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all female dogs have, she tries to lick my ears off.

Guide dogs for the blind. It's cruel really, isn't it? Getting a dog to lead a man round all day. Not fair on either of them.

My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I'm not

No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.

The only food he has ever stolen has been down on a coffee table. He claims that he genuinely believed it to be a table meant for dogs.

Study hard; and you might grow up to be President. But let's face it: Even then, you'll never make as much money as your dog.

My dog hasn't said a word all day, he must have a lot on his mind