You can name your own salary in this business. I call mine Fred.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Marina wouldn't want to be remembered because she dead. She would want to be remembered because she's good.

I am grateful for the grace to see, to hear, to talk, to feel, to smell, to taste and to walk.

George Lopez does so much mugging, I'm surprised he's not up on charges.

I exercise. I go to the gym every day. It's about respecting what you're doing. You're going on stage. You have to sleep. You have to be prepared.

I think what's so attractive about acting is that you get to live several lifetimes in one.

If we mix only a moderate minority share of turds with the raisins each year, probably no one will recognize what will ultimately become a very large collection of turds.

Mountain gorses, do ye teach us . . . . That the wisest word man reaches Is the humblest he can speak?

I think that I have been clear that demonizing and demagoguing about Muslims is not only offensive it is dangerous and it plays into ISIS's hands.

I have often said, and oftener think, that this world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel - a solution of why Democritus laughed and Heraclitus wept.

Architecture which enters into a symbiosis with light does not merely create form in light, by day and at night, but allow light to become form.